sick to death...

"Waaaa!" 

I'm sick!

I've spent the whole day in bed! It's so boring!

I'm the worst sick person ever. You've probably heard of 'man-flu', right? Where the male you know gets the sniffles and all the sudden all that brute masculinity is washed away at the site of him moping around the house wrapped in a blanket, wearing your purple slippers, with a tissue in one hand and a cup-o-jo in the other, and the only noises he makes aside from the grunting and sneezing that accompany a flu, are pathetic whines about how he may in fact, be dying.  The robust smell of diesel (the fuel, not the man-fume) is quickly overrun with the scent of eucalyptus, curtesy of the vaporiser he begged you to set up (you know, to prevent his death). Well, thats nothing. When I get sick... I cry. I want someone to hold  me and stroke my head because I AM dying, I'm sure of it! 

"Call the lawyers, draw up my will... order the Lily's and Tulips for my funeral!". 

Last night I had no voice so I made the decision to take work off today. I work with Children and not being able to communicate would be useless... and frustrating. When I'm in a foreign country and I don't know the language I just bust out some Charades, however I don't think the idea is transferable. The kids I work with are two. and under. 

So I spent the day at home, dying, feeling sorry for myself, doing hourly vocal tests (3:00pm, voice returning!) and drinking enough tea to suggest it may be an addiction. And yes, I'm wrapped in a blanket. 

I laid on my bed looking at the roof, listening to the radio, trying to convince myself to study... I woke up three hours later and realised I had drifted off thinking about the intricacies of "The Trip" (that's what I'm calling it, as of now). So I've decided to share some of the details with you. Because that's way more fun than studying. 

While you read, enjoy my funeral song, favourite of all time, after all, I am sick!

THE TRIP

It all begins with a bar course, one that I can attend in either Melbourne, Sydney or London. Sydney is kicked to the curb. The course goes for a month and is run like a full time job (it's a pretty good course). So, Do I spend the month is Melbourne and take the opportunity to cross "residing in another Australian state" off my list? Not to mention a smorgasbord of live music. and beer gardens!? Or do I move to London, like  half the other Aussies I know? 

Well, It looks like England is winning, Simply because if I can put down "Worked in a bar in London" on my CV, then I'm more likely to get a job in other countries. Also, I've been to England three times and only done about a quarter of the things on my 'England' list. And secondly, if once the course is over and I decide that I'm over London, I can jump on a bus and head to Liverpool... which is secretly what I want to do, anyway.

The bar course is world renowned (and has the price tag to match!) but I get the feeling that it'll end up being well worth it in the long run. The company helps you get a job (at a location of your choice) once you've completed the month training. 

So this is why I'm leaning towards England.

It means I could go sooner and work for a few months in the UK (thanks to a Duel Citizenship I obtain curtesy of an English mother and half Scottish father).

If I can arrange it to be around Spring time I can finally wear my tweed fedora and (faux) Fur coat (not together, of course.)

Thirdly, I could pay a mere 220 Pounds and do a 10 week French Class for when I finally live in France (Yep, that's a new addition to the trip)

And lastly, I could get a job at The Cavern! (Hey... a girl can dream!)

 Then, after about three months, I can jump on a plane and head to L.A as originally planned.

Why L.A? A few different reasons...

Firstly, there's my friend Sarah. I've mentioned her before, she's the girl I haven't seen in EIGHT years. And with my new Certificate in being-a-kick-arse-drink-mixer-with-the-flair-skills-of-a-vodka-soaked- ninja, I might be able to get a job and stick around for a few months.

Secondly... I can't afford New York City.

And then make my way through Central and South America, learning, writing, eating, drinking and surfing, before finding a place to live in Rio for a few months where I will work in the favelas during the week and party on the weekends... maybe even marry me a Brazilian.  

From Brazil, it's a full circle until I arrive in Colombia where I will fly out and land in South Africa. This continent will involve more volunteer work, more surfing, more beer and more fear. Not to mention animals, tribes and jumping off a HUGE bridge! 

(and by huge I mean 216 metres, highest bungee in the world, and I'm so scared of heights I can barely handle a step-ladder)

The next leg of the trip is a bit fuzzy at the moment. The plan is to make it from South Africa to Russia, overland... without doing a tour. I want to go through Egypt, through the 'Stans (Pakistan, etc), down to India, through Nepal, Tibet, China and Mongolia. I need to do a lot more research on this because as things stand at the moment there isn't much information on the best route to take. However, instead of this fact being a deterrent it's done the opposite... I makes me want to do it more. The fact that by the time I leave I will be a qualified travel writer means that it's an opportunity to discover a few things here that I can share with other travellers that at the moment, aren't easily accessible . The fact that I am a woman makes it even better. 

Then into Europe... which, as 'Rage Against The Machine' put it "Ain't my rope to swing on". Aside from Amsterdam I didn't fall in love with too much of Europe. However, France had the potential to steal my heart, if I weren't DYING (of laryngitis). And Germany could have kept me hanging around if Amsterdam hadn't been whispering my name.

So once the trekking through the dust and thick air of the middle east and into the ice and thin air of Mongolia and Russia, I will once again put to use the skills I learned almost two years back at a month long bar course in Ol' London town. Working in Nice, France (which explains the french classes I will take in Liverpool), And Berlin, Germany... 

Nice, France.... Niiiiiccccce.

Berlin, Germany... Beer and beets await me.

Then off I trot to that beautiful little place called Amsterdam. That place I was in not even an hour before I decided I was going to live there, one day!

Amsterdam. My love. 

And then... who knows...

I haven't been to South East Asia in a while.

Well, that's it for now.

Be back soon.

(If this flu doesn't kill me)

Ash

x

The world smells like mango, looks like sunshine and sounds like music... and I'm late for work.

As we say "adieu" to November we also bid farewell to the classic 70's-porn-movie-prop, the Moe. As men across Australia emerge from their homes clean shaven and ready to argue that they don't in fact like having a moustache, but had to do it "For Movember Charity" (we all know that their lying). We then stumble head first into December uttering "where has this year gone?" without paying attention to what is really important about the transition from the 11th month to the 12th. SUMMER! I am continuously kept awake at night thinking about Mangos and Lychees, Waves, House Parties, Dresses, Ice Cold Beer, Weiss Bars, Tans, Fedoras, Lime and Raspberry Cocktails, Bon Fires, Sand Dunes, Music Festivals and Shirtless Torsos... and then I am slammed back to the hard floor of reality like a WWF fighter, when I realise that this year, none of that is on MY agenda. For the first time in my entire life I have offered to work over the Christmas period. Including New Years. In past years, if my employer had denied me my Christmas AND New Years Holidays I would simply terminate my employment without a second thought, but with a shrug of the shoulders and a "my job is not my life, doing things that make me happy is more important" ideology. Not this time though, This time I have something else in mind, something big... But I'll get in to that a bit later. For now though, Just take a minute to appreciate all the summer-time-wonders you'll be enjoying and i'll be sacrificing.

Aside from making plans to have no plans over the Summer, these are some of the other things I have been up to;

I got a call from this Guy ^, One of my All Time Favourite Humans on the Planet, Bevan. He lives on the Sunny Coast. I lived with him when I lived up there and we used to spend our Friday nights in our lounge room, smelling like coconut oil, listening to old vinyl records, drinking cheap cask wine and playing pool on our crooked billiards table. Life was perfect. He told me that the "Soul Bar" has moved in right near our old house, where he still resides, and that there is live music there on high rotation... I wanna move back there so bad... he has a spare room for me... 

Shit. I gotta stay focused.

 I've also been eating like an effing saint... Groceries are costing me a fortune... It's not a waste of money though. My clothes are slowly but surely becoming looser!!  

My Cousin Skye got married!

I'm kicking arse at teaching myself Spanish!

I made Cup Cakes for a 1st Birthday Party in Tasmania.

...and my limited down time is divided between seeing MrX, writing endless "budget" lists and  drinking a bottle of red wine at 2am while searching youtube for music (but ending up watching funny videos of people getting injured instead). 

I know, It's so mean (but so funny).

More 

music 

I have 

fallen 

in 

love 

with

The Black Keys, A staple in my life since the Coastal days of 2008. Still very much in love.

Love it. Even though it reminds me of all the drunk dance moves I won't be busting this summer.

My love affair with Bebe started some nine months ago, It's a one way relationship where I use her to help with my Spanish and to bring pleasure to my ears and evoke memories of foreign lands. Her voice makes me want to drink Sangria in thick hot air.  

Dumb. I love it.

I also need a dollar... a few of them actually. I can relate and I can't get enough of this song. Apparently, and this could be a load of rubbish, but this dude used to work on wall street, he got fired during the recession, wrote about it, and voila, this is it. Now he's makin' money with music. What's not to love!

I seriously have bitten off way more than I can chew, and for a while now it looks like I will have to keep on chewing. Not only am I a Journalism Student who works full time and part time and is learning Spanish, I am also staring a whole bunch of other extra curricular activities in the new year too. A new language (Portuguese!), a new spiritual endeavour and a new instrument... not to mention a third job... sheesh... But i'll share those details at a later date!! 

And quitting smoking, It's going so good, I have never been more confident in quitting than I am this time around (fifth time... final time!). I am still smoking on Friday nights, mostly because of my weekly Red Wine Fridays with MrX, the mixture of him smoking and me drinking alcohol doesn't render it an easy task not to light up (though I don't even think about cigarettes at any other time of the week?). BUT, MrX is headed off to vietnam for a month on the 17th of December, so while he is over there getting messy with a cultural buffet of promiscuous backpackers, climbing a giant hill and trying not to stack his motorbike, I will purge the final remnants of the evil from my body and be unbreakable by the time he returns. I'm certain of it! 

Something else amazing has been happening too... Random (and very much appreciated) acts of kindness!

People are really getting behind the "Ash is a Poor Person" cause, they know about my goal, my debt,  and my dream and they have come to the party! Girls from work have constantly bought me Subway (whether I've wanted it, or even known about it, or not) and shouted me countless Caramel Lattes. One Friend at work even emptied her piggy bank and put all the coins in a container and put it in my cupboard at work so I can treat myself to can's of diet coke from the vending machine! Friends have requested demanded that I join them for a movie at their expense, Offered to fly me interstate so I can visit them, given me an iphone! paid for nights out on the town, bought me books AND done boring activities that cost nothing, just to accommodate my budget. I flippin' love people!

But, The most exciting news of all... 

The Rough Draft of the Itinerary for my next trip is complete!!!

 Consisting of North America, Central America, South America, Africa, The Middle East, Asia, and Europe. I almost feel like I don't want to talk about it, incase I jinx it. It's going to cost a small fortune which I will have to make sacrifices to obtain. It's going to be mentally and physically exhausting and It's going to take two . fucking . amazing . years! 

two years. 

two!

This little trip I have planned wont have me on my feet all the time. There'll be about four stops of about three months each. I am hoping to begin with a few months in L.A so I can see an amazing woman by the name of Sarah-The-Sluzza who I haven't seen in the flesh for eight long years, she's an American beauty who I immediately fell deep in plutonic-love with while she was on exchange here in Australia. 

Then I'm hoping that my fun, wild, "i'll try anything twice" truck-driver-who-kills-it-in-a-mini-dress risk taker of a friend Katie (who is currently living in Thailand and trying hard not to eat the spiders that jump into her scrambled eggs) will join me as I start my overland journey from Mexico, headed south. 

I need to stop in Guatemala and see a boy about a book and

I need to surf at Suave Dulce in Nicaragua... I'm basically going to wing the rest until eventually, at some point, I'll end up in Rio, Brazil, where I want to live for three or so months volunteering in the favelas (which is why I am learning Portuguese next year). Once I'm done in the Americas it's off to Africa for some more volunteer work and some more overland travel, where I will try with every last bit of courage and determination I have, NOT to do a tour... Though it might end in my death by lion... or tribesman. 

Then I'll head North East, Navigating my way through the middle east until I find myself in India where I will meditate, do yoga, wear a tilakam between my eyes and get a henna tattoo, just like every other tourist... because thats what we do. 

From India I will find a way to travel overland to China, Mongolia and then into Russia for vodka and potatoes.

From Russia it'll be a slow journey through eastern Europe before ending up in Amsterdam where I will find myself a home and a fixed address for whatever amount of time I am granted. From my new residence in Amsterdam I will work hard, save money, smoke joints and drink Grolsch, fall in love, fall out of love and crash my bike before saying "afscheid" and moving on to either Thailand or Bali for as long as my pennies will last, before returning home with nothing but an empty bank account and a bunch of fond memories.

(this is the first draft of the rough draft)

So that's it... a quick catch up on the current life of me. I'll get in to all the details of monetary and dress size issues in a few weeks time. For now though, there is only one thing I will be thinking about in an effort to stay focused ...

two. years.

Thanks for reading

As always, Ash. x