I had a bad week, I wont bore you with the details of my emotional unraveling, in fact I'd rather punch myself in the boob than tell the world my problems, all I'm going to say is that when a woman is stressed there are certain things she does to shush those nagging thoughts that commandeer her head for what seems like will be an eternity. I had little negative thought bubbles riding through my brain, churning like they were riding a ferris wheel... except when it was time to sleep, then they disembarked that damn ferris wheel and climbed upon the damn ChaCha*! Okay, I'm stalling here because I don't want to tell you what happened next... but... iwentshoppingandatealotoficecream... I said, I went shopping and ate a lot of ice cream. Out of the tub... It made me feel better while I was doing it, but then I felt even worse afterwards. Maybe it was the sugar-comedown, or realising the fact that the issue that caused me to spend and eat was still there... actually, It was the fact that I had basically put myself back to square one, I put ON weight and am now again more than 30 grand in the deep end... BUT, in my defence, I'm new to this, I've never been one to save my money (hence the damn debt that brought us here in the first place), there was bound to be a shopping-spree-incident at some point, I just didn't think it would happen so early. Being poor and having good taste is a horrible thing! I had a fancy-attack and went a bit crazy for all things lace! I will say this though, everything I purchased is intentionally too small for me, so I'm just going to tell myself that it was "incentive shopping" and forget about it, okay! And as for the ice cream episode, I needed to get out of my head for a while, so I watched the whole first season of Big Bang Theory and spoon fed myself until I OD'ed on deliciousness. What's done is done, I've learnt my lesson...
forward march!!!
On a different note, I have been thinking about Amsterdam a lot lately, I'm strangely home sick for a place thats never actually been my home, Part of that shopping spree included a bike, one that I can ride to work (if it ever stops fucking raining!) while wearing my 'amsterdam' beanie. I loved that bikes ruled the roads in Amsterdam. I also loved the insane amount of Tulips in Amsterdam, which is why I bought some last week and put them in a jug on my desk, even though they were droopy from the beginning I loved waking up and seeing them there everyday, they make me think of Holland instantly, and that makes me want to get back there fast. The flowers are dead now, but at eight bucks a pop those babies ain't cheap, but I've been allowing myself $50 pocket money a week and I don't mind spending almost 20% of that on something that looks pretty and reminds me of the reason I am trying to get out of debt in the first place. So, I'm going to leave you with a few photo's from my trip to amsterdam, as well as the photo advert of the bike I now own and a few snap shots of my week.
I hope you haven't lost faith in my ability to pull this off, but, if your gonna dance on my grave, make it the jive!
Thanks for reading, much love and remorse, Ash. xo
*ChaCha, an extremely fast moving ride, often at fetes, causes people to regurgitate their hotdog and ferry floss.
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| The "Ice Cream Incident", In my defence, my laptop is quiet small, making the tub of ice cream look quiet big. |
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| $8.00 Tulips. :) |
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| Cubical thingy near Anne Franks house. Amsterdam. |
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| Tulip crops. |
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| Even Cigarettes are pretty in Amsterdam! |
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| That thing, again... |
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| AND, my pretty bike, who I have named Bluebell, because she's blue... and has a bell... |
